Monday, 27 February 2012

FET Postponed

We've discussed things tonight and decided to postpone FET till later in the year; possibly Sept-November.

A couple reasons:

1. Lucky has a hearing loss and we need to concentrate on his speech and language over the next few months. We don't feel it's fair on him, if I'm too exhausted to play and interact with him, the emotional rollercoaster of IVF and all it brings.

2. My cycles aren't spot on! They are a day or two out, which is a lot better than they were a couple of months ago, but ideally i'd feel more comfortable if they were back to their pre-pregnancy predictable state. We really need this FET to to be natural. Mainly due to the lack of funds, so if we don't require drugs the better! If obviously, the Consultant feels drugs are required due to hormone levels or some other reason that's fine.

So we are giving TTC naturally a real good shot at the moment. CBFM, diet, vitamins, the lot... Have we missed anything??

Natural Long Awaited BFP vs Resented BFP

Firstly - No this isn't my BFP, but I'm just as happy!

A family friend has been ttc for 7years. Unable to have a cycle of IVF on the NHS due to her partner already having a daughter from a previous relationship. They didn't have the funds for IVF, so went ahead with ttc naturally.

Today they shared with me their news - 11wks pregnant!

I'm so excited for them both.. I've had goosebumps and gone all teary.

But... I must admit I don't get goosebumps with everyone's BFP! Those that ttc and get pregnant within the first month or two.. even the first 6mths, I'm afraid I still feel bitter towards. I know I shouldn't, I'm not a nasty, angry, sad woman usually, but infertility has got me bad with feelings of those who declare 'easy' 'quick' 'mistakes' 'miss of the pill' 'just seeing how it goes' BFPs.I hate feeling like that, but it's true.. I do!

They have NO idea, just NO idea at all...

Anywho, I'm happy today :-) Congratulations Plumb's, I can't wait to have cuddles in Sept xx

The Baby Making Bible by Emma Cannon

A lovely friend gave me this book today. Will have a read of it this week and do a review.

I think Dan is dubious about this book and using the clearblue fertility monitor as he seems to think we did all this before for 4 years and got no where!

I suppose I kind of agree. I'm never surprised by AF when it arrives.

A miracle baby would be lovely and cheaper!!

Friday, 24 February 2012

Hello Cycle no.4

After the initial pain and agony, I breastfed Lucky for 11.5months. Only deciding to stop to ensure my periods and ovulation came back to start ttc.

Dan thinks its pointless, waste of time, money and effort.. But were ttc naturally - for what it's worth, I don't know! But it makes me feel better. Makes me feel like I'm doing something!

A friend has borrowed me her Clearblue Fertility Monitor which is great, as the eBay OPKs don't detect ovulation for me.

Anywho, AF has arrived again, so we're onto our 4th cycle of ttc no.2

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Trying for a sibling. The FET way!

Nearly 2 years since getting that amazing BFP and here I am awaiting our consultants appointment back with Nurture. Decided to go for the same Consultant Hopkinsson although its been a 3 month wait.
"Why am I doing this again. You've already got a child!" I guess the words; greedy, ungrateful, don't deserve success again - all spring to your mind. They certainly have done to me...
The last 15months with Lucky have been amazing, and he truly is our world, but how can we have him as an only child? The lack of cousins and relatives close by, the responsibility and somewhat burden he will bare alone as we age and get old, coming home to just his old parents after school, excitedly opening his christmas presents but only having to play with them alone, going on holiday without that sibling to play with.... Me and Dan are obviously always there for him, but both of us growing up with siblings makes us realise how important we feel they are to a family unit.
I suppose if we didnt have the 4 frozen embryos we wouldn't feel such as urge to do this again? But we do, so here we are.. once again, trying to extend our perfect little family.
Please don't hate me for this, I feel an overwhelming amount of guilt in the 'IVF World' already, so decided to keep this cycle secret... just me, my thoughts and the blog!