Saturday, 28 August 2010
Saturday, 8 May 2010
Lucky at 6weeks and 4days
We then had our standard visibility scan with Nurture. Couldn't believe how much Lucky had developed. It was an internal scan so we were able to see full view of him. Thinking that everything was going well, the sonographer than asks us if a colleague can come in to double check the scan. With this being the 4th pregnancy I knew this wasn't a good sign - what was wrong, we could see Lucky, his sac and heartbeat!!? The second sonographer came in to confirm we had a blood clot (black area at the bottom right of the scan picture). We were given an appointment to return in 2weeks time and asked to wait at the reception area to speak to the Consultant! He asked if we had bled; No. He then went on to say that I could well bleed from the clot or it can be absorbed and disappear. He seemed unsure how the Clexane (blood thinning injections) would have contributed to it or whether he will keep us on it or not?! All rather confusing to be honest... Decided in the end to keep us on it, and for us to come back in two week and he will reassess it then.
Lucky at 8weeks and 4days
Low on behold 4 days later lying on the sofa (so nothing strenuous), this brown sticky blood comes pouring out. I ran to the toilet and then the clots started...as did the tears. It was the worse experience ever. There goes Lucky - why me, why again!! I texted Dan and he called back straight away, rather calm.. a little too calm for my liking. He reminded me the Consultant said it would happen (something I forgot) umm... but it seemed so much?!! How will I know if that was normal bleed expected or not?! My head was in a mist of confusion. I called the EPAU again. They could get me in 2 days time - 2 days of waiting, worrying, heartache, tears.... The scan was done and Lucky was fine - Thank God!! They were able to do a tummy scan and he came up on the screen straight away... bouncing around. The blood clot (aka subchronic hematoma SCH) is still there... so more bleeding to come?
Lucky at 9 weeks and 3 days
Went back to Nurture for the pre-booked scan appt for them to check the blood clot. Dan wasn't able to get to this scan, but it was the most emotional for me. I couldn't believe how much Lucky had developed. I am completely in love! Nurture were happy that the blood clot had completely disappeared! No more clot - no more bleeding right??!!
Lucky at 10 week and 2 days
Well, the bleeding of brown sticky blood continued on and off. I'm not saying that in a flippant way, because every time it happened I cried and worried. It was horrible. But then it went on for 2days with the 3rd day being bright red. All over the Internet it says 'brown blood - old blood which is fine' 'red blood - fresh blood not good'. This was the first time it had turned red and I was getting a dull ache. I tried everywhere possible to get a scan; called EPAU, called my antenatal hospital, my midwife and my line manager took me to the GP. Disheartened that I couldn't get a scan for over a week and was constantly being told; if your going to miscarry it will just happen, having a scan won't help. Thanks, great news to hear!!
Back on google to find a private clinic to have a scan. Thankfully I found somewhere local who could see us that afternoon - phew!! Once again Lucky was perfectly fine. Actually he is measuring 12weeks (maybe I'm eating too much - yikes!) Maybe I will be one of those women who just bleed during the pregnancy?! My mum bled through till 9months with me, and my cousin is currently bleeding throughout her pregnancy EDD June 2010. So I am coming to the thought.. It looks like I will as well.
Lucky at 11 weeks and 3 days (measuring 12weeks)
Finally we are nearing the end of the horrible first trimester!! Been put on bed rest which has made me bored stiff, but I know its for Lucky's well-being. We had the offical 12 week scan at the hospital which was the best one so far... (they have all been great, but) Lucky was sooo active and we got to see everything; close up of his face as he looked directly into the screen (a bit scary but funny), his bottom, his arms waving around, his legs has he bounced off one side of the sac to get to the other side... It was fab!! The sonographer had a hard time getting the measurement of the back his neck for the nuchal translucency... but she finally got a still frame to get a measurement. The consultants have double checked my Protein C as they say the level of Clexane I'm on isn't high enough?! So back in two week time to get the results of the bloods, and to see if my medication needs altering.
Lucky at 12weeks and 2 days (measuring 12 weeks 6 days)
Next scan isn't till 1st July!! Yikes... that seems ages away. To get me through it, I've broken the waiting time down to 3weeks till our holiday, and then when I get back we have 3 weeks till the scan - I think I will cope! The bonus is i should start showing in a few weeks and start to feel Lucky moving around which will give me some reassurance.
Will start to do progress 'baby bump' photo's....
Sunday, 21 March 2010
To be honest its just worry worry worry... when does it end??!
Went to get my hcg beta's done with Nurture last Monday then repeated them on Wednesday - all was well. They doubled!!! 2243 then 4402..... well done Lucky! Consultant was happy with the result and the levels were high enough to have a scan earlier. But to be honest I was thinking it would be best to wait till the original scan date just to ensure the heartbeat is there - don't fancy any heartache and extra worry of not seeing a heartbeat.
We are going to the EPU tomorrow as I've previously had an ectopic pregnancy and this scan will check where Lucky is growing!! Am I nervous? Yes!! Emotions started last night.... had a major panic attack and cried myself to sleep. Never had a positive scan result and really nervous, worried, paraiod - all rolled into one. There are so many pregnancies with our families and friends at the moment... all 'normal' couples and 'normal' pregnancies. No IVF No Protein C Deficiency... Just have sex and give birth! Why is life so bloody difficult?
Right I best change the subject before this turns into a rant!
Symptom-wise, i've been having lower back aches and tummy cramps which have been getting less frequent but the horrible taste in my mouth has been increasing!! Its worse when I'm travelling. No matter whether i'm driving, on the tram or bus I feel like im going to be sick... Found that keeping the windows down whilst in the car helps, and the only way I cope on public transport is getting off half way through the journey to get some fresh air then getting back on.. No sickness or vomit but just feel like i'll going to...
No cravings or anything like that! Lucky, if you fancy giving mummy a craving I love a creamy calorific chicken korma with a keema nan ... or chinese food... nothing healthy sweetie, lol!!
Lucky, you did us so proud knowing the beta's have doubled!! It was a little milestone for us. Hope your still there and doing well. Mummy and daddy have been counting down till the scan date. As soon as we wake we say "X more days till we see Lucky!" This morning daddy stayed with Nanny Harris' house so we did it via text... finally its "1 more sleep till we see Lucky". Please please be there for us....
Thursday, 11 March 2010
Seemed like forever but he finally got up to check the result. Laid in bed waiting for him to say something... anything!! But no, he just started peeing!! lol.
Came back to bed and went to hug me saying 'Maybe next time Boo!' All I remember saying is 'What, Oh No!' Went to grab the HPT and then he had this huge grin on his face.... 'Its worked!!'
I was soo soo happy for him. Yesterday he was researching into faint BFPs, and questioning why our previous test wasn't as dark as the one advertised on the First Response Box. But the OTD HPT was perfect 2 'proper' lines
We only had a quick cuddle and Dan had to get up to get ready for work. I laid smiling to myself in bed hearing him singing from the bathroom to the bedroom then the kitchen... "Tonight's Going To Be A Good Night" by Black Eyed Peas. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSD4vsh1zDA This song will always put a massive smile on my face. Contacted Nurture with the test result and they booked me to have my 7 week scan on 2nd April. However, this morning they called saying its Good Friday and they are closed, so my appt is now 31st March... praying for a lovely strong heartbeat!
Lucky, Your our little blessing, you will never know how happy you have made you us. We love you soo soo much!! Hang in there for us!! 3 weeks until we see you and your a nice strong heartbeat xoxo
Tuesday, 9 March 2010
Sunday, 7 March 2010
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
*MILESTONE* 7days - 1 week to Official Test Day!!
Today has been the worse day so far. I'd like to think I've been pretty positive and confident throughout this cycle, but today I've felt like its been a struggle.
Emotions have gone haywire. Crying over the most stupid thing - too embarrassed to share. You will honestly think I am a fruitloop if i told you.
With emotions like this its usually a MAJOR sign AF is arriving... So I went onto mymonthlycycle.com to check when exactly my AF is due - SATURDAY 6th... When I saw that my PMA has gone straight out of the window!!
Dragged one my coat and popped off to Boots to stock up on the HPT. I would feel more cheated if I don't even get to test before shes arrives!!
So all in all a crappy emotional day.
- Sore Boobs - getting use to it!!
- 2hours of cramps this morning. But that was it for the day
- Emotions gone haywire!!
Lucky, I do hope your still here. This is such an emotional rollercoaster, sweetie. Coming on this blog and seeing you as a 5day blast reminded me to stay positive. We'd be the happiest couple ever to know you're still with us...... Pray you are.
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
8 more sleeps till Official Test Day!!! - Woooo Hooo
I woke up with Dan this morning at 4:30 and by 5 the cramps started. There was no way I could just go back to sleep with them so I ended up going downstairs and watched GMTV (very boring today!!). Thankfully the cramps stopped about 9 ish. Only to start again an hour or so later. So they are definitely lasting a lot longer now!! Had a few weird 'twinges' which I haven't experienced before, but the best word to describe it is a twinge that went from the right side over to the left side.. Didn't hurt or anything.. but happened twice. Strange.. maybe its nothing, but with this 2ww you end up over analysing anything!!
I have still been really wanting a picture of Lucky, so thought I'd call the Embryologist and ask if they had picture. She said she will email me a picture of Lucky after lunch time!! Exciting or what!! I was obviously checking the iPhone every hour from 10am although she obviously said after lunch. I had a few moments of excitement when I saw I had a new email but it was either Dan or my Mum!!! ...as promised I received THEE email..
This is our Lucky!! A beautiful 5 day hatching blast - We love you sooo much, Lucky!! I can't stop smiling whenever I see this picture
- Sore boobs
- Cramps - lasting 2+ hours with weird twinges
Lucky, I'm hoping all these cramps are a positive thing and your settling into your new home. Daddy has been making me laugh so much since he came home from work... i hope i haven't been unsettling you!! He can be so silly at times...
Monday, 1 March 2010
9 more sleeps until "Official Test Day!" - can't wait to see that line Lucky... you'll make mummy and daddy very happy
What a lovely day today was! Woke up with the sun streaming into the bedroom... 1st March - is this the sign of spring?? I do hope so.
Still haven't been out of the house since I brought Lucky. Decided I am taking the 'resting' to another level and its time to get out of the house. Organised to meet a friend for lunch - but couldn't find my keys - urgh!! Maybe there's a reason and I need an extra day at home.
Just potter around the house and went out in the garden.. surprisingly it was lovely a warm. Okay it is not shorts and t-shirt weather yet, but with the constant snow and recent rainy spell we had... this weather is pretty good!!
Called Nurture as I wasn't 100% sure about how I was injecting the Clexane.. seems like i'm doing everything right, so that's good!
- Sore boobs - as before!!
- Constant cramps - not as sharp as yesterday. More of a dull ache... lasted for a good hour.
Lucky, we love you lots. Hope you liked daddy talking to you today and his kiss. He's promised me a massage tonight, then I'll listen to some Zita West so we'll get a nice relaxing sleep... hope your nice and snug in there.
Sunday, 28 February 2010
Pineapple Juice? Check!
Clexane Injection? Check!
Brazil Nuts? Check!
Yikes.... alarms going off at 0700 for the injection and then 0900 for the pessaries. All good for when i'm working, but not great on a Sunday. Plus Dan and I was up late watching a film and having a natter.
Had a relaxing day at home on my sofa. Watched some TV, spoke to my Nan, fell asleep, read a few chapters of my book, made a sandwich, back to sleep, then started dinner before Dan got back from work. So pretty lazy arse day really!!
- Sore huge boobs - They are ultra ultra sensitive. There is only one bra that fits.. and thats size 32F. Nipples are like bullets (sorry for the TMI) only way I can describe them!!
- Trapped Wind - Had to stay up later than I wanted as I had awful trapped wind. I hardly EVER burp, but its been non stop. Went on for hours.. had a few cups of peppermint tea which has helped it come up. Not completely settled so will see how it goes.
**PANIC**: Had an awful sharp AF type pain, it really hurt!! Haven't read into whats normal during the 2ww and whats not... so it came at a huge surprise. I was so upset... as i know my AF cycle is 25 day cycle opposed to the average 28-31 day cycle, so guessed my AF arrive earlier than expected!! Lovely ladies on twitter said that they had experienced the same thing.. so hopefully i'm normal, and Lucky is okay in there!!
Lucky, I do hope you're nice and snug in your new home. Daddy has been looking into furniture for your nursery... and I'm trying to persuade him into getting a Bugaboo pram... hopefully we will get the chance to buy you these things over the coming months. Love you so much... x x x
Saturday, 27 February 2010
At 0800 we got a call from the embryologist saying that they had a cancellation and the embryo's were doing excellent so Dr Hopkinson wants they put back as soon as possible.
Rather than the transfer at 1230, we were scheduled for 1030. I was adamant that we would get there early this time. I have a pet peeve about being late (we were late for the egg collection).
Dan drove to Nurture and we arrived in good time. As we walked down to Nurture I said to Dan that this would be the last time we will be coming here. He replied that the next time we come here it will be bring them a bunch of flowers or a picture of the baby for there hall of fame...
I had some time to listen to Zita West on the iPhone - THANKFULLY we were the only ones in the reception area, so I didn't get any strange looks with my hands doing a heart shape around my tummy, eyes close and slow deep breathing...
Went to our recovery bed and got dressed for egg transfer
Took my phone in so we could get a picture of our little embaby, and gave the phone to Dan to take the picture.
They keep saying how perfect the blast was... i knew that already :) It was lovely seeing it. Was told out the 13/12 eggs that were fertilised. 5 were best quality. The embryologist choose this embryo as it was developed and started hatching.. Had tons of cells all around it, and could see where the foetus would start to develop.. our little blessing!! 4 of the other embryo's will be frozen for future use. Out of the 5 embryo's 4 were IVF (including the one being put back) and only 1 was ICSI.
The process was similar to smear test and painless. The worse of it was the fact you needed a full bladder... so with all the pressure on my tummy to view my uterus, I clinched my toes together hoping that I don't pee on the Consultant!!
It was an experience I would never forgot, especially when I saw the blast inside of me like a little white blob... a cute blob of course!!
Went back to the recovery room to have a lay down and cup of tea. After 10-15 minutes i couldn't resist having a wee. The consultant said that laying down after the transfer and not peeing for an hour was all wives tales, and I will be fine.. Whether i believed in it out not, I was desperate for the loo... and couldn't hold it in!!
Asked Dan to see the picture of blast... and he said he didn't take it, because he wasn't sure if you could .... Not happy, but never mind.. its not an image i will ever forgot!
Back home, sleepy and resting on the sofa... thinking about my perfect little blast..
I'm offically PUPO - Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise
We will be testing on 10th March 2010... now the wait and symptom spotting begins!!
Thursday, 25 February 2010
Sophie (our embryologist) called about 1315 and recapped that we had 13 eggs collected. She then said she was pleased to tell us they are all doing excellently. 12 have divided as they should for day 3, and they're is one that is a day behind..
I do hope the little one keeps up, I'm so protective over all of them.. It must be the hormones, but its as though its my little embaby.. hope he's okay.
I literally jumped for joy after the call and hurt my tummy. So going to lie back down now. May listen to some Zita West and prepare for Saturday!!
Oh, nearly forgot!! Egg transfer is booked for 1230 on Saturday but they want us there at 1200. Got to take my cyclogest at 0800 so its absorbed by the time of egg transfer.
Soo pleased with Nurture, other than the side effects of the drugs (!!!), things couldn't be any better. I'm a very happy and blessed bunny
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
Enjoying time at home on sofa relaxing. I've got a tender sore tummy not in any pain though. Been thinking about the embies and how well they are dividing and growing loads... its the first thing i think of in the morning!!
Won't get a call from Nurture until Thursday afternoon as they want to leave them undisturbed. I'm sure they are in good hands... they better be!! Can't wait for Saturday to see which one survived and have it back inside me
Not sleeping very well. Last night i woke at 0100 then 0300 then Dan's usual alarm for work went at 0440!! I keep needing to go pee ALL the time! So today I am aiming to finish drinking my water and milk by 5pm and hopefully it will be out of system for a good nights sleep!
Thought I was feeling better this morning, so I started doing some washing, washing up and baked some lovely chocolate muffin with banana's and chopped Brazil nuts - they were absolutely delicious.. I eat 9 of them already - pig or what!! Anyway I think I slightly over did it and started getting some pains, so I decided to go back on the sofa and get some sleep.
Started my pessaries today. Opted for the back passage which went fine. But as soon as it was inside I keep having this need to pass wind...
Going to listen to Zita West and Hypnotherapy & Relaxation For Fertility & Conception which I've put on my iPhone and will relax to this evening.
Looking forward to the call from Nurture tomorrow afternoon... thinking of your embies
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
Got a call from the embryologist at 0810. Thank God they didn't have me waiting till 10
We had 21 eggs collected yesterday and choose to have a 11 ICSI and 10 IVF split.
Well of the 10 IVF 8 fertilised
Of the 11 ICSI only 6 eggs were suitable and 5 fertilised!
TOTAL 13 fertilised
They will leave them until Thursday, so will get a call on Thursday with an update on how well they are doing. They are planning on taking them to blast, so will be booked in on Saturday for ET.
Start the pessaries twice a day tomorrow - ummm, front passage or back, decisions decisions!!
To say I'm happy is an understatement. Just praying they continue to develop well
Monday, 22 February 2010
We were booked in for egg collection at 0900, but there was more traffic then we anticipated, so we didn't arrive until 0920. Oops!!
Went into the reception area and a nurse arrived with our notes (clearly waiting for us!). Gave us some blue shoe covers - oh so sexy!!
Went through the theatre area and Dan was given his container to do his business and I followed the nurse to the recovery room.
Over the next 20 or so minutes, I had seen what seemed like 101 people, consultant, nurses, embryologists, anaesthetist... All very nice, and explained what they were doing.
Got unchanged and got into my hospital gown, put my hair cap on and theatre clogs on. Nurse weighed me... all this healthy eating has done some good and I've lost a few pounds! Quickly called my nan to let her know I was about to go under and to start praying everything will be okay, please lets have some lovely eggs of good quality!! When does this rollercoaster end?
Was told I would have sedation, I presumed I would have general anaesthetic.. so that came as a little surprise! Hope he knows what he's doing, was having all sorts of thoughts of waking up during the procedure.
Dan was told to get a coffee and wait back in the reception area, and off I plodded to the theatre bed.
Ugh, i hate that injection in the hand always hurts so much! As soon as Mr. Anaesthetist injected the solution into my arm I dropped off to sleep... immediately, it was even half way and I was knocked out.
Came around less than half an hour later, but could barely talk. I was alert but no words would come out. Asked Dan to call my nan and let her know I was okay.. I know she would praying loads and worrying.
Dan brought me some strawberry ribena's (my fave drink, easily pleased kind of girl!) so I started downing some of those. All my kept asking him, was how many eggs, how many eggs... Every time I heard the door go, i thought it was for us, but they went to speak to the couple next to us... Finally the nurse came back and I got Dan to ask her. She returned to tell us we had 21 eggs - Thank God!! I really pray they are off good quality.
The embryologist came to see us. Dan's sperm sample was great (mobility and count) but we opted for 11 ICSI and 10 IVF. I don't think I would sleep at night, just having them fertilise by themselves, don't think I can trust them!! ICSI was in our NHS package and just think it kind of gives a little bit of security.
Was very drowsy but felt fine otherwise, so we went home to recover.
Pray that we have lots of 2 cell embryo's in the morning.
Dreaded call will be between 0800 - 1000. Until then, let hope and pray that we have lots of healthy embryo's.
DAY BEFORE EC
Wow, didn't think this day would ever come!! I did not enjoy these drugs at all. Think to start with it was bearable, but this last week has been awful. So exhausted, tired, snappy, bloated, sore... and the lists goes on!!
Thank God its the last day of work, think working 4 late shifts till 2200 hasn't helped!! Was out on patrol, when I came over all hot, flustered, sick and started shaking Being 1800hours on a Sunday most shops were closed, and the closest shop I could see was a Domino's. Literally ran in there and ordered something to eat. Thought I was really going to faint. Got back to work, and then I needed to go toilet.. typically the one closest loo to me was out of order!! So I had a hurry downstairs and (TMI warning) had the shits Don't know where this has come from, as I've been feeling fine in myself (other than the drugs).
Scoffed the pizza down me drank a litre of water and laid on the sofa in the canteen to try and rest up abit. I think its nerves about tomorrow
Although I had spoken to my manager about having an operation on the Monday (just said it was gynea related!) i hadn't put in my annual leave. So I went down to do that, and it was like a huge relief lifted off my shoulders to know I had 2 weeks off work sorted.
MORNING OF EC
Didn't have a great nights sleep. Woke at 3am, started drinking another litre of water had a hot water bottle on my sore tummy. I really don't think I could last another day with my tummy like this. Soooo ready to lie these eggs now! Lied on the sofa and watched Rumour Has It which I had Sky+ the night before.... then I dosed off to sleep again
Alarm went at 0700 and I packed my little bag with spare underwear, santary towels, magazine, books etc. Had a nice relaxing bath and headed off to the clinic. The car during to Nurture was awful. I was in so much pain, I put back the car seat to ease the pain and cried my heart out. The pain was so unbearable .... I WANT THESE EGGS OUT!!!!!
Is it possible to start getting use to the early morning scans?? Well I am now, my body has no energy what so ever, feel like a walking zombie!!
Was quite surprised that my clinic did Saturday scans, and there was a fair few couples there aswell. Dan attended this scan with me, which was nice as it was the last scan - yikes!!
Had my bloods taken, and was given leaflets about the final trigger injection and preparing for EC, then went around for our scan. There was only one person doing the scans, so we had a little wait but it was fine.
Started with the womb lining, then the left ovary, which was fine. But then as she moved the dildocam over to the right ovary... i was in sooo much pain, tears started running down my cheeks. It was okay once the dildocam was positioned over there, but initially moving it to the right caused so much agony!!
Usually there is the scan person (sorry don't know the technical name!!) and a nurse.. So the scan lady would shout of the sizes of the follicles and the nurse would be writting away, and reassuring us. Well this didn't happen with only one person, she obviously had to do all the work herself, and when we asked 'How many follicles do we have', she replied 'Yeah, everything is fine'. DH mimed to me ask again... i did but this time she just ignored me...
We left the room with our notes to give back to the receptionist. At this point we had a look at our scan results
Right Ovary - 24mm, 19mm, 19mm, 19mm, 18mm, 18mm, 18mm, 17mm, 15mm, 14mm, 14mm, 13mm and 12mm
Left Ovary - 16mm, 16mm, 15mm, 13mm, 13mm, 11mm, 10mm, 10mm, 10mm and 9mm
Whoop 23 follicles... thats lots of lovely juicy eggs for us!!
Womb lining 16mm
Somewhat forgot I was awaiting a call from Nuture, so when the nurse called I was at work, and had to quickly scrable for a pen!! Why is it whenever you need a pen, you never can find one!!
Anyway, I was told:
EC will be on Monday at 0930
Take my last sniff at 1930
No more gonal-f instead I will have my trigger shot at 2130
The night before EC I won't be able to eat after midnight, and no drinking after 0630 on the morning of EC
Phew... alot to take in, but i got there in the end!!
Then I realised i didn't have my trigger shot at work with, thankfully Dan was still at home, so he brought it to work for me. Ripped of my details off the box (noisy parkers at work), and put it to the back of my work fridge hiding behind my dinner!
Was panicked about doing the trigger shot, and Dan had done a majority of the injections and I had to do this one by myself!
Hid myself in the ladies changing room with my antispetic wipe and injection - thankfully it was so easy, and didn't hurt at all. I didn't even realise it went in!
Looking forward to a drug free day tomorrow