Tuesday, 16 October 2012

7 week scan

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Scan at 4 weeks & 4 days Pregnant

There are TWO sacs!!!!

I'm thrilled, over the moon and feel so blessed :)

Next scan is 5th Oct to detect how many heartbeats develop


Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Confirming Pregnancy

Confirmed With Husband 19/09

Lucky woke Dan with a gift bag filled with shredded tissue paper AND a Clearblue Digital Pregnancy test..

Yep, Dan finally knows!

I've been desperate to tell him but after being heartbroken with Luckys early test which was a bfn, he vowed never to do an early test again...

In Dans words "..the R***** family just got bigger" :)

Early pregnancy unit will be doing a test on Wednesday. yet another milestone to get through! :S

..and our clinic will also do betas

..this will. be a long week!

Confirmed with Nurture
...I've been contacting Nurture the last few days.. Leaving 2 messages a day.. Do I have a reply? Nothing, nada, zilch!
Typical nurture. So peed off, part of me think why should I bother calling them again..

Sunday, 16 September 2012

4DP BFP!! Successful Natural FET ?? - 2ww Diary

1dp 5dt (TUESDAY)
All symptoms I've been feeling since starting cyclogest!
  • Constipated
  • Dull aches in tummy and lower back

Pic of the day: At home finished work for the next 17days!!! Chill out time whilst I watch OBEM twins & triplets... eek!

2dp 5dt (WEDNESDAY)
Resting & Relaxing
  • 3 sharp twinges
  • Crazy but, after gripping hold of the sink through the pain of the twinges, I equally punched the air in delight that I was getting some symptoms as I did with Lucky at this stage.
  • Dull back and tummy ache; bloated from cyclogest
  • Tender tummy

3dp 5dt (THURSDAY)
Hormonal Wreck - BEWARE!
  • Tearful, emotional wreck no symptoms like Lucky.. Just want alcohol, a hot bath and  to go back to work!
  • Fed up of this IVF malarkey...
  • Just want my life back

4dp 5dt (FRIDAY)
  • Dull back ache
  • Dull heaviness / bloated tummy
  • Sharp pains once in a while
  • If you squint real hard and use a magnifying glass you may recognise a BFP
Why did I test so early?
Firstly, this was a natural cycle so I don't have any trigger shot to worry about... Most importantly, I was losing my mind! I honestly don't know how women get through the 2ww without wanting to test? I've been TTC since 2006 and NEVER get the pleasure of POAS with a slight glimmer of hope that it will be a BFP, because its near impossible! IVF gives me the chance to POAS with the hope, that moment of 'will it work?' so yes, your right.. waiting till the OTD is ideal... but for me, I was losing my marbles on google, over analysing every and anything my body did, lost sleep thinking about it.. So for ME testing early works. If it was a BFN (it took the full 3mins to give this result... and believe me 3mins can feel like a lifetime!!) ...I'd cry, grieve and move on. No more wondering, over thinking, driving myself insane!

5dp 5dt (SATURDAY)
  • Only a couple sharp pains when they stop I feel dizzy
  • Nausea whilst on the tram to my friends wedding reception
  • Hormonal / emotional wreck.. I could verbally rip someones head off (my husband would do fine!)
  • Met the lovely CFB from fertility friends.. Walked around Nottm and both lost going home, looking forward to seeing her again tomorrow :) x

6dp 5dt (SUNDAY)
Another bfp - getting darker! No squinting needed..
  • Sharp tingle on right ovary
  • Then 12hrs later another slight pain.. Not as frequent as the last few days
  • Whilst laying down I had a wave of "letdown reflex" feeling ... I'm not sure how else to describe it. But during breastfeeding you have this sensation from the chest to the nipple when it's time to feed. Basically this is your milk coming down aka as 'let down'.... and I just had the same feeling! I stopped feeding Lucky 9mths ago in prep for IVF so it's definitely nothing to do with him!!
  • Less tummy cramps, but deep throb at my back for hours....
  • I can't believe it..... As Karen from FF said: I'm not PUPO, I'm PREGNANT!! ...and so will she be, as my bump buddy xx

I can't believe this time last week Clover & Star were still frozen...!! I just hope and pray with every cell of my body this isn't taken away from me... I don't think I can cope with another miscarriage. I've prayed for a BFP if they are healthy and make the full 9mths....

Hoping this week continues with BFPs with a line that gets stronger and thicker.

7DP 5DT (Monday)
  • Cramps have stopped, but i guess implantation has come to an end now?? Who knows...
  • Sore / sensitive boobs

Lines are getting darker and thicker!

Found my pregnancy journal from Lucky, so going to start completing week 3 for Clover & Star... very surreal!

8DP 5DT (Tuesday)
  • Sore boobs & sensitive when Lucky tries to touch them!
  • 2/3 cramps only lasting a few seconds
  • Tired
I've still got a few more spare tests but think I will stop now till the clearblue digitals at the weekend... (ha, who am I kidding?!)

Monday, 10 September 2012

Natural FET Diary CD17 - Egg Transfer Day

I've woken up with butterflies in my tummy.. Anxious about this mornings call! Praying and hoping for good news

Sophie the embryologist called.. I was clinging hold of whether it was "sorry to inform you.." or "I'm pleased to say.." Thank God it was the latter. Out of the 3 IVF blastocysts that were thawed 2 survived and are of "good" quality.. (not excellent, I guess.. Do I want too much??) I've shed a tear for the one that didn't make it.. :,( I feel so attached to them - willing them all to do well. But I'll look at it from the other point of view that I have 2 good blastocysts and it only takes 1.
She did the usually script of if they remain of good quality I will be highly likely to have twins.. Etc etc etc.. I've heard it at every appointment with nurture now. We've both read up on the risks of multiple pregnancy

"Hang in there Star & Clover... please improve over the next few hours!!"

Thankfully Lucky has kept me busy this morning; been to a toddler group, organised his bits for this afternoon with MIL and just put him down for a nap.. 1hr 30mins till Star & Clover are back where they belong! Really hoping and praying they are both thriving still.

"They will both still be there and of good quality"

"They will both still be there and of good quality"

"They will both still be there and of good quality"

I'm officially an emotional wreck! I've cried the entire journey here.. I presume they would have phoned if they hadn't of survived? I can't cope... I can barely breathe.. I feel sick! Sweet Jesus, I'm a bag of nerves

What a difference an hour makes ;) I'm pregnant with 2x A grade blastocysts.. Absolutely thrilled to pieces. Star & Clover are back home where they should be. I'm in love. My family is complete.. Can't wait to see them at the scan in a few months.. Hang in there spuds xx

At home resting in bed with my crochet and novel .. It was horrible Lucky running up to me as I came through the door, asking to be picked up for a cuddle :( I'm going to try and refrain from lifting him for the first week... MIL, Dan & Lucky have gone out to give me some time to rest. Just checked my email and received a message from the embryologist with a picture of my perfect beautiful blastocyst.. Just seeing them reminded me of Lucky on ET day and during the 2ww :)
I didn't have time to write this earlier; in the theatre I had the nurse, embryologist and consultant explain that I shouldn't have them both back in due to the quality of them - if the cycle is successful I have a high chance of it being a multiple birth (twins or triplets due to them being blasts) which brings about increase chance of miscarriage, health complications, stillbirth etc etc. Talk about put you on under pressure. I ended up calling Dan (partly to get them out of the room so I could think clearly) and just to give him an update. Poor guy was half asleep still from his night shift and no idea what I was on about! We left it as; whatever is meant to be.. Will happen! Nurture weren't happy but they don't refreeze after thaw (due to lack of medical research).. So how on earth can I leave my "baby" to perish!??
Anywho.. It's done now! :) I'm on cloud 9 ... Over the moon...

Snuggle up tight Star & Clover.. Make yourself at home, you'll be there for 9mths xx

Sunday, 9 September 2012

IVF Two Week Wait via Instagram Pictures

Those of you who know me personally, will be aware that I'm a complete instagram addict!

It's been killing me not being able to upload pictures during this cycle..

So I just set up an account.. Username boowantsbaby

I'll enjoy posting pics of Mondays ET, during the 2ww ...& those positive home pregnancy tests without everyone who knows me seeing!

Natural FET Diary CD16 - Thoughts & Feelings

After 2 frantic voice messages to Nurture, Dan and I spoke last night about the decision of 3 blastocysts and we've decided to go for it!

I really doubt they will get my voice message so I'm going to be positive in knowing we've made the right decision.. They are getting to pick the best quality blastocyst by thawing the 3 of them..

This has got to work!!

Pic of the day: Picnic at the park

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Natural FET Diary CD15 - How Many To Transfer? 1 or 2?

I'm feeling really bloated, hot & bothered and flustered ... Clearly due to the cyclogest!

Tracey the embryologist called about 9am to confirm whether I was going for 1 or 2 blastocyst.

If I go for 1 blastocyst, they will thaw 2 and use the best 1.

If I go for 2 blastocyst, they will thaw 3 and use the best 2.

We are opting for the 3 IVF blastocyst to be thawed, leaving the ICSI one.

They try not to transfer both ICSI and IVF embryo's as the HFEA like to know which was successful, but if the thaw doesn't go well they will use the ICSI

I'm usually positive but I've naively thought the thaw would be ok. I kind of forgot about the 70% successful thaw rate and reading that for some women nothing thaws! :-(

Going to try and take my mind of it now.. Decisions made and i will have 2 blastocyst transferred on Monday!!

I will get a call between 0830 and 0900 to see how they have thawed. I'm pencilled in for ET at 1230 but "that depends on if we have anything to transfer" (...as she put it!) and may change depending on the other ladies booked in. I'll need to be there for 1200.

I'm off to squeeze Lucky ..I hope I can get him a sibling!! :-/

Update.. I'm confused isn't 3 too many to use?? I've left a voicemail message with nurture, but doubt anyone will pick it up on a Sunday??!

Pic of the day: me in the bath drinking camomile tea & sparkling myself some much needed babydust...

Thursday, 6 September 2012

Natural FET Diary CD13 - Cyclogest Front or Back?!

It's my last full day at work :) got to pop in on Tuesday but just to finish off some paperwork than i'll head back home.

Completely forgot whether cyclogest goes vaginally or anally ... So opted for anally; less mess.

I called Nurture in the morning to let them know I've ovulated and to confirm where I put the cyclogest.

- cyclogest is vaginally inserted
- twice a day
- starting from ovulation

Popped to Tescos after work and have a basket typical for any IVF 2ww woman ;)
- 4 or 5 brazil nuts a day
- small glass of pineapple
- panty liner for the messy cyclogest
- pregnancy tests! Tesco own brand was recommended to me as a friend got a bfp 9dpo with them.. And only £3.50 for 2 - bargain!!

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Natural FET Cycle Diary CD12 - Ovulation!!!

We had a 9am appointment with nurture to go through our consents form. Made the mistake of not bringing the pushchair so Lucky was touching everything; wanting to "sign" the forms, answer the phone, use the keyboard... The nurse gave him the pleasure of switching of the lights as we left the room - typical little boy; into everything! I explained my concern about the ET booked in on Monday, and lack of positive ovulation. The nurse took my notes through to the doctor but returned saying they were expecting me to OV today and sure I'll ovulate soon so won't be scanning me or taking my bloods. Slightly peed off, but hey...

Just had a 10hr shift at work and definitely felt more CM and tummy tingles today so tested when I got home....

Eek they were right!! I'm ovulating :)

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

CD11 Nurse Update - ET Booked!

I decided to have a lastminute annual leave day, I'm absolutely exhausted and the weather was nice for us to have a family day together. We had a lovely day at Elvaston Castle & Country Park which Lucky enjoyed :)

Nurse called at lunch..
1) No more scans; they are happy with my cycle, womb lining progression and my body seems to be ovulating naturally. We are booked in to have ET on Monday (CD17)

2) I need to start the cyclogest on Thursday, using 1x twice a day (which will be CD13)

3) Continue taking using the clearblue digital opk and call them when I have a surge

4) the embryologist will call on Saturday. I presume this is to discuss the quality and quantity we want transferring... Still none the wiser!!

5) come in tomorrow to sign consent forms and we'll need to give them results for the HIV, Hep B & C bloods

6) Asked whether I'm taking folic acid.. Umm for the last year or so!

Phew, I had to try and remember all that whist Lucky was screeching for his banana... I think that's all??!

Monday's ET seems a little premature?? I haven't ovulated yet, and it's meant to be 5 days after oV as they are 5 day blastocyst!!? Don't quite understand that.. I'll do a opk tomorrow and if it's not positive I'll ask at the appointment

Can't believe it! I'll be PUPO this time next week :D

I hope & pray this works x

Natural FET Diary Cycle 11

A surprisingly quiet day at nurture so I was in and out quickly today,

Womb Lining 9.7mm
Follicle - 21mm

...and awaiting a call at lunchtime.. X

Monday, 3 September 2012

CD10 Nurse Update

The nurse called me this afternoon saying:

1) use the clearblue opk tonight - Negative Result

2) my follicle is on the large side (1.9cm) and the Doctor wants to monitor me closely, so I'm back in tomorrow for bloods and a scan

After the scan today I left QMC in pain having to grip hold of Luckys pram just to get me through the intense throbbing ache. This is the usual pre-OV symptoms for me, so I'm not surprised I have large follicles!

Anywho, back tomorrow... :)

Natural FET Cycle Diary CD10 - Busy Bee

Just got back for the CD10 scan.. All looking good

Womb lining 9mm
Follicle 19mm
Triple endometrium

Bloods were taken, will get call later today. They gave me clearblue digital ovulation sticks to start tomorrow. Afraid I had to bring Lucky with me :( I'm sure a few women didn't appreciate that.. But there's no-one to watch him *sigh* hope I didn't upset anyone too much :-/

Now back home to give Lucky a proper breakfast and need to...
1. Get a copy of our HIV & hepatitis blood results from the GP
2. Collect cyclogest from ASDA pharmacy
3. Get to The Range to buy card for Luckys cbeebies birthday card I need to make
4. Then start a night shift at work..

Just call me superwoman!

Sunday, 2 September 2012

Natural FET Cycle CD9

Quick update that Nurture called me yesterday at 1030 to say the womb lining is fine just waiting for ovulation to occur, so i'll be back in on Monday for CD10 bloods and scans

Ovulation isn't due till Friday-ish.. So I guess I'll be back and forward to Nurture every few days awaiting till it happens!

MIL watched Lucky for us and we went out for an anniversary meal and drinks last night. Then today we had a lovely photo shoot at Elvaston Castle! Can't wait to see the pictures :)

Whilst doing treatment we always discuss.. "if this doesn't work, then what?" ...Last night we spoke about egg share and adoption - once again!

Super duper tired, so i'll explain more about the adoption & egg share discussion in another blog post.. going to let Zita West drift me off to sleep... Zzzzzz

Saturday, 1 September 2012

Natural FET Cycle CD8 - Nearly Ready!

It's been an early start with Lucky deciding to start the day at 5am and me not getting to sleep till 1am - Eek.. I wish I drank coffee...

Dan finished work an hour early and watched Lucky whilst I went to Nurture.

As I drove to Nurture, I was getting tearful and emotional.. Slightly anxious now! I'm usually googling and on fertility friends / nurture forum every day over analysing everything ... But this week I've done none of that. More than likely due to Dans fiasco last month!

I had a scan to check the womb lining and my ovaries. She said the lining should be at 8mm for ET and it's 8.1mm already! I have a large follicle on my left ovary, which is normal as its a natural cycle and I will ovulate from that ovary.

I then went through to have bloods to check the hormonal surge. I will get the results back at lunchtime.

I'm over the moon :) its also our wedding anniversary today!

Now I need to dig out that cyclogest prescription and hopefully get some today :)

Monday, 27 August 2012

Tired - Natural FET Diary CD3

The chronic AF pains are dying down so we enjoyed a day as a family at Sandown Adventureland :) It was lovely but extremely tiring! We are all knackered. Dan went upstairs to put Lucky to bed, but somehow Dans fallen asleep and I can hear Lucky kicking his cot - delightful lol

Seeing other families with 3 & 4 children today started Dan on the "should we put 2 back in?" rant... Umm.. I don't think we'll make up our mind until ET day!

Pic of the day: lucky throwing some change into a wishing well. Hoping & praying for a sibling

Saturday, 25 August 2012

Natural FET Diary CD1 - Hello Aunty Flow!

Well after a few days late.. She arrived :)

With it being a Saturday and Bank Holiday weekend, I can't call Nurture till Tuesday.

Hope they can fit me in this cycle!

Friday, 24 August 2012

What should be my OTD!

...But it isn't *humpf*

AF hasn't arrived which should be filling me with joy... But as I didn't get to ET, I'm just blinking well pissed off.


I'm sure she'll arrive tomorrow.

But that means my ET & 2WW don't fall very well for me having time off during ET & 2WW.. Dan's delightful response was "Why don't you both go to London?" oh yea, of course I'll have ET and jump on the 2.5hr train journey with the worlds heaviest pram & 2x cases, toys, and entertain a toddler... Sounds like a wonderful relaxing 2WW, whilst you come home to an peaceful house and enjoy your rest day lazing at your mums...
....And that response doesn't answer how I'm going to entertain Lucky, during ET and whilst I relax after in the recovery room... FFS! He changes the month of FET, but I've got to pick up the pieces! Mr I-don't-have-annualleave-left! *SCREAM*

Ok, quite clearly AF is going to be banging on the door in the morning :-/


Lucky enjoyed a morning a soft play today :) Clearly knackered him out as he slept for nearly 3hrs when we got home!

Thursday, 9 August 2012

I'm ovulating :(

...I've spent the last week drinking and eating rubbish - basically feeling sorry for myself!

Me & Dan have talked.. And to be honest, I don't know what the big deal was?! Yes there was an issue that needed discussing, but it seemed all a bit melodramatic!

I've gone through every emotion possible this week.. Mainly resentful, angry & annoyed.. But I am getting to the point I'm thinking "Ok, the cycles cancelled, everything happens for a reason!" I was so unbelievably stressed out with work, so maybe that would have hindered my chances of getting a bfp (trying to positive!)

Dan does want me to start FET at the next cycle..

I'm so annoyed, I wish I could tell him to stuff it! But I do want a sibling for Lucky, moreso than anything!

Maybe I'll take this next FET in my stride, no blogging, no forums, no focus on it.. Just see how it goes?! Ha! Yea right, lol

Pic: lucky awaiting Thomas the Tanks arrival!

Saturday, 4 August 2012

FET Cancelled - Again!

Afraid this blog & FET has finished before it even started.

Family life isn't what Dan wants apparently :-/

Babydust to all my readers.. Hope you all get that BFP soon xx

Pic: enjoying a much needed glass of wine!!

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Natural FET Diary CD5

Was super stressed out.. Dan took the car (with our wellies & pram raincover in the boot!) and was away today at the olympics with his friends. It was forecasted to rain from 11am and there's no way I can cope with staying indoors with lucky ...all day!!! Typically, it's now 20:30 and not a drop of rain!! Humpf..

We had fun at playgroup this morning then popped to Sainsburys for a Tom & Jerry cake mixture. On the walk home, it was still dry so we stopped at the park. Lucky has this obsession with feeding ducks stones.. Basically he collects little stones and throws them in the lake.. As you do :)

When I got home, I got an email response regarding the acupuncture.. I'm seriously thinking I'll do it?! I just think, I need something extra?? I don't know if my womb lining has ever been looked at during the 2ww? I think I'll enjoy the relaxation.. Just laying down for 45mins sounds good.. I'd play some zita west in the background, relax & focus! Sounds good to me!
She's charging £50 for the consultation then £38 each session after.. Not super cheap, but not as expensive as the other company I looked at (£93 for ET acupuncture!) ..then again, it worked last time without acupuncture.. I've read so many stories were they couldn't afford acupuncture and that cycle worked - so it doesn't actually better your chances, does it?

Right, I'm scoffing too many of Lucky's Tom & Jerry cakes and washing it down with red bush tea.. Kitchen to tidy, nails to polish, and Mr Grey to read ;)

Pic of the day: Lucky walking towards the ducks, with his collection of stones clinched in his hands

Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Natural FET Diary CD4

Today we spent the day with a friend who has a daughter the same age as Lucky. They have always got on well together, but it seems terrible two's as started already! They were both as bad as each other.. Damn weather meant they were kept indoors. I think next time we'll take them to the farm for a run around!

I've thinking about acupuncture today.. Umm.. Undecided! I've emailed a few companies as I presume I need to start it ASAP! Part of me thinks this natural cycle, is just a little too natural.. Although I guess I do have progesterone to take during the 2ww. Umm, clueless :-/ I just want this to work!

Off to enjoy a mango smoothie and Mr. Grey.. ;)

Pic of the day: Lucky playing the piano! At the rate they were going, we were surprised they even sat next to each other without thumping one another... Toddler tantrums!

Monday, 30 July 2012

Natural FET Diary CD3

I called Nurture this morning, and spoke to nurse Lyndsey, who said I needed to come in on day 8 (Saturday 8th Aug) at 0730. She mentioned I would be scanned and be given clearblue sticks (I presume they give me the OV sticks!?)

I will have to change my shift as I am due to start work at 0800 but I don't think that is too much of a problem - but who knows with my shitty line manager!

I've been taking feminax as soon as my 6hrs is up, regardless whether I'm in pain or not.. Decided to leave it this morning as I was feeling fine.

Me & Lucky went for a long walk, to the park and popped to the shops.. Came home crippled in pain - doh! I pray this is my last AF - for a long long while....

I made a yummy weightwatchers no points roasted veg soup! Trying to pack in those 5 a day. Tasted divine! I'm rubbish at drinking water.. I seemed to do it fine during my last cycle, as I was so borderline with ohss and my body was pumped full of drugs! I'm trying to remember to drink a glass every other hour.. Seems to be working!

Right, Lucky's in bed, house to tidy, 30day shred, bath, zita west and then bed x

Pic of the day - yummy veg awaiting to be roasted: butternut squash, carrots, celery & pepper.. I blended it with veg stock and chilli flakes! Definitely recommended

Sunday, 29 July 2012

Natural FET Diary CD2

We've had a relaxing day today.

Enjoyed catching up with a friend this afternoon. She recently got married in Italy! We took the little ones to a pottery cafe, where Lucky and his friend painted little star plaques :) so cute!

AF has been so much better, I've had to take maximum dose of feminax ultra, but it's worked! Yay..

Feeling super positive about this cycle - why shouldn't it work?! 43% chance, why can't I be in the percentage? I'm starting the 30day shred again, will do it up until ET.

Found the FET protocol which Nurture sent me a while back.

"Day 1 telephone nurture and speak to the nurse to confirm dates ( I will do this in the morning, as my AF came on Saturday and I presume the clinic will be closed for general calls!)

Day 8-10 attend nurture for scan and blood tests, also further scans as instructed.

Urinary kit to be used if monitoring is required on a Saturday

The cryopreserved embryos will be thawed and transferred, of they survive freeze/thaw process, on a day to be advised by Nurture.

As discussed with Mr Hopkisson, from the day of embryo transfer for lyrical support please commence: cyclogest pessaries 400mg twice a day"

Pic of the day: yummy berry smoothie; strawberry, raspberry, blueberry, banana and splash of milk 

Saturday, 28 July 2012

Natural FET Diary CD1

Thought I'd do a diary of each day of this FET cycle. I've enjoyed reading my IVF one, so thought i'd do it again.

I thought it was a good idea to stay up till 0100 to watch the Olympics opening ceremony.. Not the best decision when you have to be at work at 0800 - doh!

AF arrived whilst at work, so all in all I felt pretty crap!

Taken a few painkillers and went off to Nottingham Gay Pride event for work today.

Felt dreadful by 3pm so went home a few hours early. Lucky & Dan were at Lakeside Park, so arrived home to a quiet home and could enjoy a warm cup of tea!

I've taken part in the clearblue fertility monitor study, which arrived today - perfect timing!

Planned on enjoying a takeaway and movie with Dan.. But AF is so painful, feminax ultra hasn't done a thing 3hrs since taking it :(

Having an early night and hoping tomorrow is better?!

Dates should be:
Period: 28th Jul
Ovulation: 10th Aug
Blastocyst Transfer: 15th Aug
OTD: 24th Aug
EDD: 3rd May :) (PMA!)

Sunday, 22 July 2012


I've been struggling at work at the minute, extremely short staffed so the workload is near impossible.. Not getting on with my management as they aren't helping with the pressure I'm under.

Spoke to my Nan this morning, as I do every Sunday.

Asked her pray for my IVF cycle.. As with my previous, she'll be the only person I'll tell in the family.

Also mentioned to pray for me at work & my sergeant.

It made it smile telling about us doing IVF again. She sighed, and said she always prays about my fertility, but had been asking God to heal my womb so I wouldn't have to go through this..

It made me shed a tear... Bless her.

For whatever reason, it's my portion to to go through IVF .. I gave up a long time wondering why, and accepting this is it! I try not to feel feel upset or bitter towards being infertile. I'm forever grateful for my beautiful son and will do all I can to gave him a sibling. I'm undoubtedly pleased IVF worked for us and grateful for Gods gift of science that has given me a child x

Saturday, 14 July 2012

Boys Are More Likely to Result From Blastocyst Transfer after IVF

In a paper posted on Fertility and Sterility on-line, researchers at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine and Reproductive Medicine Associates in New York analyze data from their center and report that blastocyst transfer results in a significant sex-ratio imbalance towards male offspring. They found that almost 58% of babies born as a result of blastocyst transfers after a fresh IVF cycle were male. Approximately 51% of all babies born in the US are male.

The analysis included 1,284 babies from 937 deliveries that took place from August 2003 to August 2005 as a result of fresh IVF cycles. Sex ratios were determined for deliveries resulting from embryos transferred on the third day of culture as well as for blastocysts transferred after five days of culture. In addition, the researchers looked at singleton births to help determine whether the practice of single blastocyst transfer might impact sex ratio.

Deliveries from embryos transferred on day three of culture exhibited a much more balanced sex-ratio, close to that of all US births: 48.8% female to 51.2% male. For singleton deliveries from day three transfers, there was no significant change in sex ratio.

However, when the data from singleton births after blastocyst transfer were analyzed, a sex ratio of 36.3% female to 63.7% male emerged.

The authors attribute the higher proportion of male offspring from blastocyst transfer to the faster preimplantation development of male embryos. Criteria for selecting blastocysts for transfer favor faster developing embryos with more cells. Most of the patients in the study who underwent embryo transfer transferred more than one embryo, increasing the chances for a more balanced sex ratio. However, the greater disparity between male and female birth rates among singletons born after blastocyst transfer indicates that the practice of selecting the single, most fully developed embryo for a single embryo transfer could lead to further and greater imbalances.
David Grainger, President of SART remarked, "This is a fascinating finding. Further research in this area will help distinguish between the effects of culture techniques and the effects of embryo selection criteria on the sex ratio of children born after blastocyst transfer. In the meantime, doctors might want to examine the sex ratios of children born from their procedures in order to be able to advise patients in case they care."

(Luna et al, Blastocyst embryo transfer is associated with a sex-ration imbalance in favor of male offspring, Fertility and Sterility, published on-line at www.fertstert.org .)

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

Twins?? ...HIV, Hepatitis B & C

5mins before my GP appt I glanced through my phones calendar to see what I had planned today.. Eek.. Completely forgot about the appointment!

Lucky & I drag on some clothes and rushed to the GP surgery, typically timed during rush hour & school drop-off's. Ugh..

GP wrote out the blood forms without a second thought *phew* Said the clinic can call them for the results. Huge weight of our shoulders and a bit of money saved.

Went to work that afternoon, and like every conversion at the moment we were talking about Fifty Shades Of Grey. This lead us onto my Sgt talking about the "baby boom" in 9mths. My Sgt asked if I'm having any more and I told him I didn't want my son to be any only child but we need IVF so we'll see (no.. my line manager doesn't know what I'm doing next month!) he mentioned his friends needed IVF. They had 1 daughter the first round, then the second time they got twins.. I keep hearing this: "Twins" "Twins" "Twins"

Are we doing the right thing putting two back in??! Two blastocysts.. Two blastocysts, that were part of a previous successful cycle? Then again, we could put 2 back in and bfn .. That's 2 blasts gone, compared to just 1.. Lucky worked, and he was just 1... Oh God I'm confused!!!

Just going to pray about, whatever God wants for us.. I'll leave it in his hands! Who knows he may have the lottery ready for us, so a bigger car, house etc wont be a problem :-D

Friday, 6 July 2012

Eeek IVF FET invoice bill

Received our bill for FET in the post today.. It doesn't include my suppositories & HIV/Hep blood work

All of sudden this has made me so nervous!

We spend a fortune on Lucky. After buying a 'must have' outdoor playhouse tomorrow.. That will be our spending over with!

I've ran around the house and piled a heap of Gucci heels and Tiffany jewellery I haven't worn for AGES to put on eBay this weekend.

Oh God, please make this cycle work!!!

Monday, 2 July 2012

Eeek Period Has Arrived!

AF arrived today...

- Nurture want us to pay £240 for HIV, Hep B & Hep C tests. I have called our local STD clinic and they can do the test for free. But will be charged £30 for the letter to be sent to Nurture with results (HUGE savings....) I have also made a GP appointment to see if they can do the tests for me, check my iron levels & request clexane injections

- I called Nurture to inform them that I will be starting my FET next month. Just awaiting a call back from the nurse...

- eek, on the rollercoaster again next month! How am I feeling?.. Anxious, all of a sudden scared, apprehensive but also, hopeful, positive, and can't wait to give Lucky a sibling!

Sunday, 10 June 2012

Zita West Pre & Post Transfer Acupuncture Chart

These pictures were taken of the Zita West IVF CD to help with visualisation

Hope they help x

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

FET Consultation Nurture Nottingham

We had a 20min consultation with James Hopkisson.

20min conversion cut short:
- 70% chance of successfully thawing all blastocyst
- 40% chance of a success cycle
- 40% chance of twin pregnancy
- I will visiting the clinic 7x for this cycle

Answers to my questions
Natural or Medicated Cycle.
Medicated cycles are marginally better than a natural cycle. When I ask by how much, he said its so small that he couldn't give a percentage. Plus there are no studies looking into this, so he can't say.
I can have natural cycle and buy suppositories for the LP to help line my womb, although he didn't feel it was necessary with a natural cycle

- why did we loss so many eggs through ICSI but IVF embryos thrived throughout.
He dislikes 50/50 splits, prefers patients to either go down the IVF route or ICSI route. The lose of some many eggs could have been down ICSI being more a more vigorous approach

- if we take 1 blastocyst out to thaw, but it doesn't - are we charged to thaw another blastocyst?
There is no extra charge. They are thawed on the morning of embryo transfer. If one doesn't seem to develop they can take out another and assess that.

- what is FET process and time scale?
I need to call in June CD1. The clinic arrange the paperwork and schedule me for my August cycle. Didn't go into much more detail then that. Mentioned that full details will be posted to me

- ask him to ask the success rate for the clinic.
It's approx 40%

It was nice seeing lucky visiting this amazing place that made him.. Very emotional ..

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Zita West Relaxation CD is BACK!

Dan just laughed about this and said "I see the Zita West CD is back! You falling asleep listening to it".

I loved it during my first cycle, and definitely need to relax, so I'm looking forward to listening to this again..

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Questions for IVF Consultation

Me & Dan are always firing questions to each other to ask Dr. Hopkinson but not doubt we'll forgot..

Thought I'd jot them down here - I will add to them over the next few weeks

- Natural or Medicated Cycle. Tubal factor IVF & cycles are as regular as clockwork. If natural is recommended by him, can we buy pessaries to add the womb lining?

- why did we loss so many eggs through ICSI but IVF embryos thrived throughout (if you remember we split our 21 eggs for IVF & ICSI - we loss LOADS through ICSI. Bad decision on my part :-/ )

- if we take 1 blastocyst out to thaw, but it doesn't - are we charged to thaw another blastocyst? I presume there is a small window of opportunity to complete this?!

- what is FET process and time scale?

- ask him to ask the success rate for the clinic. From looking on their website it seems to be a 43% or 50% but don't quite understand!

- how does alcohol affect FET? A month before FET starts my friend has a cocktail making party for her 30th. I don't want to miss it.. Do I have cocktails or mocktails?!

Preparing For FET

3 weeks till our consultation
8 weeks till ET - eek!


These worked wonders during my first cycle. I've sold them on, but buying them again
- Zita West
- Making Babies IVF Support

By no means do I think theses CD gave me a BFP and a must have - but, what I know they did do, was relax me, kept me focused during the cycle. So I will be using them again, in the evening before bed. I did use them in the morning and left it playing during me sleeping at night - but with luckys early wakes in the morning and during the night, I doubt that will be possible!


I didn't use this method before, but as it is a natural cycle, I think it will be useful to do now. I've been recommended Katy Henry http://www.bridgecentrederby.com/index.php?cID=157&wID=158
As FET is in July, I will start mid-late June with sessions. If anything, it will be nice to have some me time!


I cut out all crap for my last cycle and went organic wherever possible. I remember meeting up with a friend who was going through IVF ..and she ordered a Coke, yes Coke - along with a bag of crisps!! I was thinking WTF is she doing?? She can't eat that crap!! I remember coming home and telling Dan about it. How pathetic am i?! Needless to say she got a BFP on SET 1st time IVFer.. So it clearly, doesn't matter!! She said she ate crap throughout the cycle, but I think I'll go back to my healthy / organic diet, just to be on the safe side ;-)
Will also increasing my water intake..


I HATE taking tablets with a passion!! I struggle to swallow them and all a bit of a nightmare to be honest! But I will be on Conception tablets and iron tablets. I plan on speaking to my GP about requiring a higher dose folic acid and my blood clotting issues. That will will determine whether I add low dose aspirin in the mix aswell *heave*


I'm dusting down my fertility yoga DVD and running trainers! I exercise daily when I'm at work and running around after Lucky on my days off. But will try and fit in running and yoga aswell..

Monday, 7 May 2012

Egg Transfer - 1 blastocyst or 2

For the last few days me and Dan have been debating whether we put 1 blast in, or 2??! *SCREAM*

Single pregnancy
Leaves 3 blastocysts, if we want to try again

Increase chance of it not working
If it doesn't, we have to find another £1050 to do another FET cycle

More likely to get pregnant

We lose 2 blasts in one go, if unsuccessful
If successful, we have 3 children under 3
Possible chance of triplets (one blast splitting - happened to an IVF friend)
Twins could mean increase chances of complications

Really not sure what to do.. I guess the logical thing to do is go for SET (single embryo transfer)?!

*SCREAM* Consultants appointment is nearing, I need a decision soon :-/

Sunday, 6 May 2012

ICSI babies more likely to have birth defeats - Daily Mail article

Dan sent me this article this morning.

It's the Daily Mail, so let's not take it as gospel!!

Thought I'd share it


Wednesday, 18 April 2012

The Joys of a Predictable Cycle

My cycles are back to normal now. 27 day cycles. On the dot!

Never get the chance to even think.. Am I pregnant??

CD27 is awoken with the joys of AF..

Another month of enjoying TTC ;-D

Saturday, 14 April 2012

Attending A Fertility With a Child

I keep thinking about what we are going to do with Lucky at the time of the clinic appointment.

I remember vividly; waiting for a scan at Nurture and a couple came in to have a consultation appointment.

I hated them..

Their daughter would have been about 16-19mths old(similar age to Lucky now), and there they were selfish buggers, not happy with just being blessed with one daughter, they are back again for another.. AND to add insult to injury going to flaunt her in front of a packed reception area full of hormonal, desperate, tired women! How awful am I!

With these vivid thoughts, I spoke to the receptionist and said we live in Nottingham alone and our son doesn't attend nursery - is there separate room my husband can wait with him whilst I wait in the reception for the appointment. She said "oh no no, it will be fine. All the nurses will love seeing him and it will be good for the women to see a success story in the flesh"

Ummm Really???!

Thursday, 12 April 2012

FET Consultation Appointment Made

Discussed things with Dan the other day, and decided to go ahead with FET sooner rather than later.

Still sticking with Dr James Hopkisson which means we have a wait, but we're not in a huge rush!

29th May back at Nurture Fertility Clinic for a review appointment

Dan has a whole list of questions to ask him already lol.. Bless him, he's getting more into this fertility malarkey than me!

Monday, 9 April 2012

Broody Husband Wanting FET

Dan has mentioned every day for the last two weeks..

"Should we just do the FET now"

"Let's call the clinic in the morning for an appointment"

"We better have one sooner rather than later".

I've been mean and not bothered replying to him..

I'm undecided.. I want to do it, but what it fails?! £1050 is a lot to gamble with!

On the plus side, the embryologist has given us great success rates, as Lucky was conceived from the same batch.

We are planning on putting the recommended 2 blastocyst back in, which means the possibility of TWINS!! Eek... Then there is a fellow IVF friend who is now pregnant with triplets, she had 2 put back and 1 of the embryo's split!!

Now can you see my worry?!

I should just go with the flow, and see what happens..

Maybe I'm over thinking all of this?!

Ok, maybe well discuss it, and get a Consultants appointment

*sigh* Confused

Monday, 2 April 2012

Grapefruit Juice & Cervical Mucus

Wow it really does work!
Thought I'd give it a break today, after downing loads yesterday, and I can really tell a difference.
I haven't peaked on the cbfm yet but even so the CM is completely different having not drunk any today.

Grapefruit juice is quick, effective and definitely a keeper!

Sunday, 1 April 2012

Mooncup & TTC Naturally

A friend has been TTC for 8months with no success, so she upped her game by using a CBFM and Mooncup - hey presto she's pregnant!

Already using a CBFM which I haven't had any problems with and will keep using it, as it's useful to know my high days aswell as peaks with Dan working nights.

Received the mooncup in the post a few days ago, sterilised it and gave it a go.

Seemed a fiddle to get in, as I was all fingers and thumb, but after a few tries I was able to get it in and out no problem.

Got my first high on the CBFM this morning, so after DTD I propped my bum up with a pillow and inserted it.. Certainly nowhere near as messy as I expected it to be. I was able to go to the loo straight after and not worry about everything pouring back out!

We DTD during the day, as Dans working nights, so I'll be keeping it in all today and will take it out in the morning.

As you know Dan thinks this is all pointless, but for less than £20 I thought its worth a try!

I'm also back on the grapefruit juice to increase CM... Which worked instantly. I quite like the taste of grapefruit, so seemed to down the litre box last night! By the morning my CM was in abundance. So that's definitely a keeper!!

Just hope with the increased CM, blocking the semen in with the mooncup... maybe, just possibly the egg and just 1 sperm can find each other through my damaged tubes!!

Theres hoping!!

Info on mooncup www.mooncup.co.uk

Friday, 9 March 2012

Always my lucky

I saw this online and had to buy it for him.. I love it

Thursday, 8 March 2012

Ovulating but no Dan!

As you know I'm using the CBFM and usually I get excited over a peak.. But Dans staying in Leicester!

At least I won't be too disheartened with AF arrives!

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Blocked tubes; Acupunture & Chinese Medicine ?!

As you know, I'm reading The Baby Making Bible (will do a review once I've finished).

However, it seems to believe blocked tubes can be 'healed' through acupuncture and Chinese medicines. Now, I'm all for alternative medicines, and used them a lot during my teens. But common sense has told me, if something is blocked; it's blocked! A few needles over my body and some foul tasting tablets can't possibly unblocked my tubes?!

Now.. I'm not trying to sound negative and I'm not usually a negative person, but it just doesn't seem to make a lot of sense?

Will I just be throwing £100s down the drain?!

Just read this article on it: http://www.londonacupuncture.co.uk/showCondition.asp?ArticleID=53

What do you think....

Monday, 27 February 2012

FET Postponed

We've discussed things tonight and decided to postpone FET till later in the year; possibly Sept-November.

A couple reasons:

1. Lucky has a hearing loss and we need to concentrate on his speech and language over the next few months. We don't feel it's fair on him, if I'm too exhausted to play and interact with him, the emotional rollercoaster of IVF and all it brings.

2. My cycles aren't spot on! They are a day or two out, which is a lot better than they were a couple of months ago, but ideally i'd feel more comfortable if they were back to their pre-pregnancy predictable state. We really need this FET to to be natural. Mainly due to the lack of funds, so if we don't require drugs the better! If obviously, the Consultant feels drugs are required due to hormone levels or some other reason that's fine.

So we are giving TTC naturally a real good shot at the moment. CBFM, diet, vitamins, the lot... Have we missed anything??

Natural Long Awaited BFP vs Resented BFP

Firstly - No this isn't my BFP, but I'm just as happy!

A family friend has been ttc for 7years. Unable to have a cycle of IVF on the NHS due to her partner already having a daughter from a previous relationship. They didn't have the funds for IVF, so went ahead with ttc naturally.

Today they shared with me their news - 11wks pregnant!

I'm so excited for them both.. I've had goosebumps and gone all teary.

But... I must admit I don't get goosebumps with everyone's BFP! Those that ttc and get pregnant within the first month or two.. even the first 6mths, I'm afraid I still feel bitter towards. I know I shouldn't, I'm not a nasty, angry, sad woman usually, but infertility has got me bad with feelings of those who declare 'easy' 'quick' 'mistakes' 'miss of the pill' 'just seeing how it goes' BFPs.I hate feeling like that, but it's true.. I do!

They have NO idea, just NO idea at all...

Anywho, I'm happy today :-) Congratulations Plumb's, I can't wait to have cuddles in Sept xx

The Baby Making Bible by Emma Cannon

A lovely friend gave me this book today. Will have a read of it this week and do a review.

I think Dan is dubious about this book and using the clearblue fertility monitor as he seems to think we did all this before for 4 years and got no where!

I suppose I kind of agree. I'm never surprised by AF when it arrives.

A miracle baby would be lovely and cheaper!!

Friday, 24 February 2012

Hello Cycle no.4

After the initial pain and agony, I breastfed Lucky for 11.5months. Only deciding to stop to ensure my periods and ovulation came back to start ttc.

Dan thinks its pointless, waste of time, money and effort.. But were ttc naturally - for what it's worth, I don't know! But it makes me feel better. Makes me feel like I'm doing something!

A friend has borrowed me her Clearblue Fertility Monitor which is great, as the eBay OPKs don't detect ovulation for me.

Anywho, AF has arrived again, so we're onto our 4th cycle of ttc no.2

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Trying for a sibling. The FET way!

Nearly 2 years since getting that amazing BFP and here I am awaiting our consultants appointment back with Nurture. Decided to go for the same Consultant Hopkinsson although its been a 3 month wait.
"Why am I doing this again. You've already got a child!" I guess the words; greedy, ungrateful, don't deserve success again - all spring to your mind. They certainly have done to me...
The last 15months with Lucky have been amazing, and he truly is our world, but how can we have him as an only child? The lack of cousins and relatives close by, the responsibility and somewhat burden he will bare alone as we age and get old, coming home to just his old parents after school, excitedly opening his christmas presents but only having to play with them alone, going on holiday without that sibling to play with.... Me and Dan are obviously always there for him, but both of us growing up with siblings makes us realise how important we feel they are to a family unit.
I suppose if we didnt have the 4 frozen embryos we wouldn't feel such as urge to do this again? But we do, so here we are.. once again, trying to extend our perfect little family.
Please don't hate me for this, I feel an overwhelming amount of guilt in the 'IVF World' already, so decided to keep this cycle secret... just me, my thoughts and the blog!