Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Scan at 4 weeks & 4 days Pregnant

There are TWO sacs!!!!

I'm thrilled, over the moon and feel so blessed :)

Next scan is 5th Oct to detect how many heartbeats develop


Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Confirming Pregnancy

Confirmed With Husband 19/09

Lucky woke Dan with a gift bag filled with shredded tissue paper AND a Clearblue Digital Pregnancy test..

Yep, Dan finally knows!

I've been desperate to tell him but after being heartbroken with Luckys early test which was a bfn, he vowed never to do an early test again...

In Dans words "..the R***** family just got bigger" :)

Early pregnancy unit will be doing a test on Wednesday. yet another milestone to get through! :S

..and our clinic will also do betas

..this will. be a long week!

Confirmed with Nurture
...I've been contacting Nurture the last few days.. Leaving 2 messages a day.. Do I have a reply? Nothing, nada, zilch!
Typical nurture. So peed off, part of me think why should I bother calling them again..

Sunday, 16 September 2012

4DP BFP!! Successful Natural FET ?? - 2ww Diary

1dp 5dt (TUESDAY)
All symptoms I've been feeling since starting cyclogest!
  • Constipated
  • Dull aches in tummy and lower back

Pic of the day: At home finished work for the next 17days!!! Chill out time whilst I watch OBEM twins & triplets... eek!

2dp 5dt (WEDNESDAY)
Resting & Relaxing
  • 3 sharp twinges
  • Crazy but, after gripping hold of the sink through the pain of the twinges, I equally punched the air in delight that I was getting some symptoms as I did with Lucky at this stage.
  • Dull back and tummy ache; bloated from cyclogest
  • Tender tummy

3dp 5dt (THURSDAY)
Hormonal Wreck - BEWARE!
  • Tearful, emotional wreck no symptoms like Lucky.. Just want alcohol, a hot bath and  to go back to work!
  • Fed up of this IVF malarkey...
  • Just want my life back

4dp 5dt (FRIDAY)
  • Dull back ache
  • Dull heaviness / bloated tummy
  • Sharp pains once in a while
  • If you squint real hard and use a magnifying glass you may recognise a BFP
Why did I test so early?
Firstly, this was a natural cycle so I don't have any trigger shot to worry about... Most importantly, I was losing my mind! I honestly don't know how women get through the 2ww without wanting to test? I've been TTC since 2006 and NEVER get the pleasure of POAS with a slight glimmer of hope that it will be a BFP, because its near impossible! IVF gives me the chance to POAS with the hope, that moment of 'will it work?' so yes, your right.. waiting till the OTD is ideal... but for me, I was losing my marbles on google, over analysing every and anything my body did, lost sleep thinking about it.. So for ME testing early works. If it was a BFN (it took the full 3mins to give this result... and believe me 3mins can feel like a lifetime!!) ...I'd cry, grieve and move on. No more wondering, over thinking, driving myself insane!

5dp 5dt (SATURDAY)
  • Only a couple sharp pains when they stop I feel dizzy
  • Nausea whilst on the tram to my friends wedding reception
  • Hormonal / emotional wreck.. I could verbally rip someones head off (my husband would do fine!)
  • Met the lovely CFB from fertility friends.. Walked around Nottm and both lost going home, looking forward to seeing her again tomorrow :) x

6dp 5dt (SUNDAY)
Another bfp - getting darker! No squinting needed..
  • Sharp tingle on right ovary
  • Then 12hrs later another slight pain.. Not as frequent as the last few days
  • Whilst laying down I had a wave of "letdown reflex" feeling ... I'm not sure how else to describe it. But during breastfeeding you have this sensation from the chest to the nipple when it's time to feed. Basically this is your milk coming down aka as 'let down'.... and I just had the same feeling! I stopped feeding Lucky 9mths ago in prep for IVF so it's definitely nothing to do with him!!
  • Less tummy cramps, but deep throb at my back for hours....
  • I can't believe it..... As Karen from FF said: I'm not PUPO, I'm PREGNANT!! ...and so will she be, as my bump buddy xx

I can't believe this time last week Clover & Star were still frozen...!! I just hope and pray with every cell of my body this isn't taken away from me... I don't think I can cope with another miscarriage. I've prayed for a BFP if they are healthy and make the full 9mths....

Hoping this week continues with BFPs with a line that gets stronger and thicker.

7DP 5DT (Monday)
  • Cramps have stopped, but i guess implantation has come to an end now?? Who knows...
  • Sore / sensitive boobs

Lines are getting darker and thicker!

Found my pregnancy journal from Lucky, so going to start completing week 3 for Clover & Star... very surreal!

8DP 5DT (Tuesday)
  • Sore boobs & sensitive when Lucky tries to touch them!
  • 2/3 cramps only lasting a few seconds
  • Tired
I've still got a few more spare tests but think I will stop now till the clearblue digitals at the weekend... (ha, who am I kidding?!)

Monday, 10 September 2012

Natural FET Diary CD17 - Egg Transfer Day

I've woken up with butterflies in my tummy.. Anxious about this mornings call! Praying and hoping for good news

Sophie the embryologist called.. I was clinging hold of whether it was "sorry to inform you.." or "I'm pleased to say.." Thank God it was the latter. Out of the 3 IVF blastocysts that were thawed 2 survived and are of "good" quality.. (not excellent, I guess.. Do I want too much??) I've shed a tear for the one that didn't make it.. :,( I feel so attached to them - willing them all to do well. But I'll look at it from the other point of view that I have 2 good blastocysts and it only takes 1.
She did the usually script of if they remain of good quality I will be highly likely to have twins.. Etc etc etc.. I've heard it at every appointment with nurture now. We've both read up on the risks of multiple pregnancy

"Hang in there Star & Clover... please improve over the next few hours!!"

Thankfully Lucky has kept me busy this morning; been to a toddler group, organised his bits for this afternoon with MIL and just put him down for a nap.. 1hr 30mins till Star & Clover are back where they belong! Really hoping and praying they are both thriving still.

"They will both still be there and of good quality"

"They will both still be there and of good quality"

"They will both still be there and of good quality"

I'm officially an emotional wreck! I've cried the entire journey here.. I presume they would have phoned if they hadn't of survived? I can't cope... I can barely breathe.. I feel sick! Sweet Jesus, I'm a bag of nerves

What a difference an hour makes ;) I'm pregnant with 2x A grade blastocysts.. Absolutely thrilled to pieces. Star & Clover are back home where they should be. I'm in love. My family is complete.. Can't wait to see them at the scan in a few months.. Hang in there spuds xx

At home resting in bed with my crochet and novel .. It was horrible Lucky running up to me as I came through the door, asking to be picked up for a cuddle :( I'm going to try and refrain from lifting him for the first week... MIL, Dan & Lucky have gone out to give me some time to rest. Just checked my email and received a message from the embryologist with a picture of my perfect beautiful blastocyst.. Just seeing them reminded me of Lucky on ET day and during the 2ww :)
I didn't have time to write this earlier; in the theatre I had the nurse, embryologist and consultant explain that I shouldn't have them both back in due to the quality of them - if the cycle is successful I have a high chance of it being a multiple birth (twins or triplets due to them being blasts) which brings about increase chance of miscarriage, health complications, stillbirth etc etc. Talk about put you on under pressure. I ended up calling Dan (partly to get them out of the room so I could think clearly) and just to give him an update. Poor guy was half asleep still from his night shift and no idea what I was on about! We left it as; whatever is meant to be.. Will happen! Nurture weren't happy but they don't refreeze after thaw (due to lack of medical research).. So how on earth can I leave my "baby" to perish!??
Anywho.. It's done now! :) I'm on cloud 9 ... Over the moon...

Snuggle up tight Star & Clover.. Make yourself at home, you'll be there for 9mths xx

Sunday, 9 September 2012

IVF Two Week Wait via Instagram Pictures

Those of you who know me personally, will be aware that I'm a complete instagram addict!

It's been killing me not being able to upload pictures during this cycle..

So I just set up an account.. Username boowantsbaby

I'll enjoy posting pics of Mondays ET, during the 2ww ...& those positive home pregnancy tests without everyone who knows me seeing!

Natural FET Diary CD16 - Thoughts & Feelings

After 2 frantic voice messages to Nurture, Dan and I spoke last night about the decision of 3 blastocysts and we've decided to go for it!

I really doubt they will get my voice message so I'm going to be positive in knowing we've made the right decision.. They are getting to pick the best quality blastocyst by thawing the 3 of them..

This has got to work!!

Pic of the day: Picnic at the park

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Natural FET Diary CD15 - How Many To Transfer? 1 or 2?

I'm feeling really bloated, hot & bothered and flustered ... Clearly due to the cyclogest!

Tracey the embryologist called about 9am to confirm whether I was going for 1 or 2 blastocyst.

If I go for 1 blastocyst, they will thaw 2 and use the best 1.

If I go for 2 blastocyst, they will thaw 3 and use the best 2.

We are opting for the 3 IVF blastocyst to be thawed, leaving the ICSI one.

They try not to transfer both ICSI and IVF embryo's as the HFEA like to know which was successful, but if the thaw doesn't go well they will use the ICSI

I'm usually positive but I've naively thought the thaw would be ok. I kind of forgot about the 70% successful thaw rate and reading that for some women nothing thaws! :-(

Going to try and take my mind of it now.. Decisions made and i will have 2 blastocyst transferred on Monday!!

I will get a call between 0830 and 0900 to see how they have thawed. I'm pencilled in for ET at 1230 but "that depends on if we have anything to transfer" ( she put it!) and may change depending on the other ladies booked in. I'll need to be there for 1200.

I'm off to squeeze Lucky ..I hope I can get him a sibling!! :-/

Update.. I'm confused isn't 3 too many to use?? I've left a voicemail message with nurture, but doubt anyone will pick it up on a Sunday??!

Pic of the day: me in the bath drinking camomile tea & sparkling myself some much needed babydust...

Thursday, 6 September 2012

Natural FET Diary CD13 - Cyclogest Front or Back?!

It's my last full day at work :) got to pop in on Tuesday but just to finish off some paperwork than i'll head back home.

Completely forgot whether cyclogest goes vaginally or anally ... So opted for anally; less mess.

I called Nurture in the morning to let them know I've ovulated and to confirm where I put the cyclogest.

- cyclogest is vaginally inserted
- twice a day
- starting from ovulation

Popped to Tescos after work and have a basket typical for any IVF 2ww woman ;)
- 4 or 5 brazil nuts a day
- small glass of pineapple
- panty liner for the messy cyclogest
- pregnancy tests! Tesco own brand was recommended to me as a friend got a bfp 9dpo with them.. And only £3.50 for 2 - bargain!!

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Natural FET Cycle Diary CD12 - Ovulation!!!

We had a 9am appointment with nurture to go through our consents form. Made the mistake of not bringing the pushchair so Lucky was touching everything; wanting to "sign" the forms, answer the phone, use the keyboard... The nurse gave him the pleasure of switching of the lights as we left the room - typical little boy; into everything! I explained my concern about the ET booked in on Monday, and lack of positive ovulation. The nurse took my notes through to the doctor but returned saying they were expecting me to OV today and sure I'll ovulate soon so won't be scanning me or taking my bloods. Slightly peed off, but hey...

Just had a 10hr shift at work and definitely felt more CM and tummy tingles today so tested when I got home....

Eek they were right!! I'm ovulating :)

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

CD11 Nurse Update - ET Booked!

I decided to have a lastminute annual leave day, I'm absolutely exhausted and the weather was nice for us to have a family day together. We had a lovely day at Elvaston Castle & Country Park which Lucky enjoyed :)

Nurse called at lunch..
1) No more scans; they are happy with my cycle, womb lining progression and my body seems to be ovulating naturally. We are booked in to have ET on Monday (CD17)

2) I need to start the cyclogest on Thursday, using 1x twice a day (which will be CD13)

3) Continue taking using the clearblue digital opk and call them when I have a surge

4) the embryologist will call on Saturday. I presume this is to discuss the quality and quantity we want transferring... Still none the wiser!!

5) come in tomorrow to sign consent forms and we'll need to give them results for the HIV, Hep B & C bloods

6) Asked whether I'm taking folic acid.. Umm for the last year or so!

Phew, I had to try and remember all that whist Lucky was screeching for his banana... I think that's all??!

Monday's ET seems a little premature?? I haven't ovulated yet, and it's meant to be 5 days after oV as they are 5 day blastocyst!!? Don't quite understand that.. I'll do a opk tomorrow and if it's not positive I'll ask at the appointment

Can't believe it! I'll be PUPO this time next week :D

I hope & pray this works x

Natural FET Diary Cycle 11

A surprisingly quiet day at nurture so I was in and out quickly today,

Womb Lining 9.7mm
Follicle - 21mm

...and awaiting a call at lunchtime.. X

Monday, 3 September 2012

CD10 Nurse Update

The nurse called me this afternoon saying:

1) use the clearblue opk tonight - Negative Result

2) my follicle is on the large side (1.9cm) and the Doctor wants to monitor me closely, so I'm back in tomorrow for bloods and a scan

After the scan today I left QMC in pain having to grip hold of Luckys pram just to get me through the intense throbbing ache. This is the usual pre-OV symptoms for me, so I'm not surprised I have large follicles!

Anywho, back tomorrow... :)

Natural FET Cycle Diary CD10 - Busy Bee

Just got back for the CD10 scan.. All looking good

Womb lining 9mm
Follicle 19mm
Triple endometrium

Bloods were taken, will get call later today. They gave me clearblue digital ovulation sticks to start tomorrow. Afraid I had to bring Lucky with me :( I'm sure a few women didn't appreciate that.. But there's no-one to watch him *sigh* hope I didn't upset anyone too much :-/

Now back home to give Lucky a proper breakfast and need to...
1. Get a copy of our HIV & hepatitis blood results from the GP
2. Collect cyclogest from ASDA pharmacy
3. Get to The Range to buy card for Luckys cbeebies birthday card I need to make
4. Then start a night shift at work..

Just call me superwoman!

Sunday, 2 September 2012

Natural FET Cycle CD9

Quick update that Nurture called me yesterday at 1030 to say the womb lining is fine just waiting for ovulation to occur, so i'll be back in on Monday for CD10 bloods and scans

Ovulation isn't due till Friday-ish.. So I guess I'll be back and forward to Nurture every few days awaiting till it happens!

MIL watched Lucky for us and we went out for an anniversary meal and drinks last night. Then today we had a lovely photo shoot at Elvaston Castle! Can't wait to see the pictures :)

Whilst doing treatment we always discuss.. "if this doesn't work, then what?" ...Last night we spoke about egg share and adoption - once again!

Super duper tired, so i'll explain more about the adoption & egg share discussion in another blog post.. going to let Zita West drift me off to sleep... Zzzzzz

Saturday, 1 September 2012

Natural FET Cycle CD8 - Nearly Ready!

It's been an early start with Lucky deciding to start the day at 5am and me not getting to sleep till 1am - Eek.. I wish I drank coffee...

Dan finished work an hour early and watched Lucky whilst I went to Nurture.

As I drove to Nurture, I was getting tearful and emotional.. Slightly anxious now! I'm usually googling and on fertility friends / nurture forum every day over analysing everything ... But this week I've done none of that. More than likely due to Dans fiasco last month!

I had a scan to check the womb lining and my ovaries. She said the lining should be at 8mm for ET and it's 8.1mm already! I have a large follicle on my left ovary, which is normal as its a natural cycle and I will ovulate from that ovary.

I then went through to have bloods to check the hormonal surge. I will get the results back at lunchtime.

I'm over the moon :) its also our wedding anniversary today!

Now I need to dig out that cyclogest prescription and hopefully get some today :)